Cornald Squinchinegger was born on September 5, 1957 in MeinPoopScreechen, Austria, a small village consisting mostly of delapidated outhouses. He was the 6th child born to Cornelius and Queezie Squinchinegger, and was unusually small.

At the tender age of 4, he lost his five brothers and parents in a sack-burning accident which left him shivering, eyes bulging on the cold sidewalk, an orphan in a town where curfews are enforced with pooper scoopers.

A year later, young Cornald stowed away under the poop deck of a CruiseShip headed for the Americas. With a gleam in his eye and his signature corn kernel and beany cap, he was headed for new opportunities.

In America, his luck was no better. He was bound for an orphanage in Queens, New York after being picked up off of the streets. He was forced to board with a much larger Turd, Stanley 'Steamer' Kerplopsey, who used to beat Cornald to a mushy pie regularly. But he also met Carl 'Curly' Crapsie, who would change his life forever.

Cornald began lifting weights and taking steroids, and by 18 years of age, he was a rock-hard turd that could crack porcelain ... And Stanley 'Steamer' Kerplopsey.

By 19, Cornald landed his first starring role in an independent motion picture, Hercules: Beneath the Rim, which was a box office failure. But Cornald didn't quit. He continued to bulk up, pump and dump. After winning 2 King Dookie awards, he returned to the big screen, in Cornan. Then came his biggest role, as a cyborg pooh in Turdinator.

Other Successes included Camodal Recall and Loaf Action Hero before returning to Turdinator 2: Movement Day and Turdinator 3: Rise of the Latrines.